Let's Sit Down and Eat – together!
We live in a modern society where oftentimes both parents have to work to financially sustain a household. Many times parents run around transporting their children from game to game or activity to activity. Other times when the kids come home from school parents encourage them to go out and play as long as they do not stay out past their curfew. One item is missing from the table today. No pun intended - families are just not sitting down to dinner any more. Is there actually a benefit from having this culinary experience as a family?
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) over the past decade and a half of surveying thousands of American teens and their parents discovered that one of the most effective ways parents can keep their kids from using substances is by sitting down to dinner with them.
It is interesting to note that sitting down to dinner gives parents an opportunity to find out what is happening in their child's life. It is a matter of listening not only hearing. It is about a conversation around their lives. It should be done in an atmosphere where the TV is not running, cell phones are silenced and each member is in tune with the dialogue. It is a perfect time to share feelings, thoughts, observations and opinions. This kind of platform encourages children and young adults to disclose the nuances of their daily activity.
It is important to casually inquire about what is going on with their schools, friends, how they view others or events that are occurring in the news. It has to be natural and can't be forced. While you might find resistance and labeled as being nosey at first, hand in there because it's new; once you become consistent with the approach you will find the conversation to flow. It takes time to develop especially when your children are not used to it. You might have to explain your reason for initiating the conversation. Remember it is perfectly okay to tell your children that you love them and you care about what is happening in their lives.
One can get valuable feedback by opening the channels of communication and keeping a steady stream of information flowing. Parents are capable of detecting subtle changes in a child's demeanor, attitude, and personality. These are flags to inquire deeper into the matter maybe even in a more private setting. Kids that stop talking are communicating that something is possibly wrong. Parents have to take the time and listen.
Oftentimes a child will disclose events that are happening at school giving the parent a chance to be proactive. Parents have to contact the schools and get the details.
For ideas of topic to talk about go to the Yubbie Foundation's site for suggestions.
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