Release of Call Me Yubbie

January 2010 is the official release of Call Me Yubbie written by Joe Wojcik and published by Apex Performance Solutions, LLC. There will be a book signing on Saturday January 16, 2010 at the Westfield Athenaeum from 2:00 to 4:00 PM. Join Mayor Daniel M. Knapik, Dr. Joseph A. Dupelle of the Westfield School District and Frederic J. Fleron, Jr. Ph.D. from Westfield State College in the festivities.

Joe Wojcik is the author of Yubbie:The Fall and Rise of an Everyday Joe and the Say NO To Bullying Today program. He is also Executive Director of The Yubbie Foundation.

The Anxiety of Going Back To School

THE ANXIETY OF GOING BACK TO SCHOOL

The anticipation of going back to school can often times escalate into an emotional experience for a child. Parents that have developed a healthy channel of communication with their children can see the changes in the attitudes as the new school year starts. Here are some tips for parents to help their children deal with the going-back-to-school-blues:

• Take the time to discuss any changes in their behavior. A couple of weeks before the new year begins, a parent may be able to detect signs of withdrawal or anxiety. Use this as an opportunity to have a discussion with your child. It is imperative that parents nurture their children through these emotions and help them come to grips with the upcoming events in a positive manner.
  
• Get the feelings out in the open. Do not let a child ponder on negative reactions to the upcoming changes in their lives. Have empathy, and encouraging an open discussion of those feelings will help a child cope with their emotions. It can transform a situation into a positive reaction.
  
• Children mimic their parents. Parents also have to be aware of their emotions. Be careful not to communicate a sense of loss or too much happiness that your children are returning back to school. Your reactions may have an impact of your child's attitude toward school.
  
• Be a proactive parent. Put a positive spin on education and the benefits of returning back to school. Encourage the desire to achieve a good education, expand their interests and the social aspect of meeting new kids. Children are like clay and parents are the sculpturing artists. It is important to instill the advantages of obtaining an education that will allow a child to achieve their dreams.
  
• Have a specific homework time each day at home. Children need structure. Creating a time with no distractions in the house helps a child develop discipline. Parents can serve as an example by participating in the homework period by sitting down and reading a magazine or book while the children study. Kids want to be like their parents, so walk-the-talk. Show them that learning to read is important.
  

 

One way to motivate your child and help nurture them through the academic year is letting them know you care and put education as a priority in life. We had a rule in my house that was very effective in fostering over a hundred children and getting them excited about education. Rule #1: – There is a specific time everyday for one hour of homework in a common area, mainly the kitchen. The rule was until you do your homework, there's no Nintendo (back in those days), no radio, or TV. Clear and simple. My house, my rules. During that study period, they were not allowed radios or TV.

 

Of course we had those slick little characters that would come home and try to convince us that their teachers did not give out homework or they did it at school. Thinking they just escaped homework period, they would be ready to take off and play. Rule #2: If you don't have any homework, sit and read a book or magazine of your choice. That usually took them by surprise. We believed that education was paramount in getting good employment and providing for a family. One of us would sit with them during that period and read a book or magazine, leading by example. We also were available to tutor if necessary.

 

If they didn't have homework for a couple of days, I would place a call to the assistant principal who was more than happy to check with their teachers. Wow! You cannot believe how many kids were shocked when we reported on our conversation with the AP. Those who tried to be slick were the ones who were not actually handing in any homework. Back to rule #1.

 

We also felt very strongly about grades and sports. A parent should place the focus on education that gives a child a chance for a productive future. We pushed to have C+ to Bs to be eligible for sports. It is amazing what a child will do when they are motivated. If they wanted to tackle down their opponent on the field they first had to learn how to tackle discipline and work their education into the formula.

 

The results were sometimes amazing. One child, Gio, who at thirteen had never gotten higher than a D and failed most of his schooling, impressed all of us. With the right nurturing daily he was able to achieve high honors three semesters and honors on the fourth. No joke! The right structure coupled with positive reinforcement around education laid down the framework to encourage him to succeed. With continued support and motivation he realized he could achieve and was enthusiastic about his studies. Years later he came back for a visit to tell us that before us, everyone considered him stupid and that is what he thought he was – stupid. The right nurturing helped him do a 180, boosted his self-confidence and convinced him he could achieve anything he wanted. Remember your children are always watching, listening and absorbing your behavior. Emulate what you want them to be and help guide them through their school anxieties.

New Release

The pre-released edition of my new fiction novel Call Me Yubbie has arrived. It will not be in the stores until October so here's your chance to get this early best seller - humbly speaking of course. You can go to my web site www.callmeyubbie.com and buy your copy. It is $12.95 plus shipping. Limited quantities of the pre-released edition available so get it now. You snooze – you lose.

The book, a multi-layered young adult novel, Call Me Yubbie, is written as a young man's journal. Starting in the summer after 4th grade, Joe, aka Yubbie, is abused physically and psychologically. Yubbie's lack of self-confidence and inability to deal with his tormentors leads to journaling, and it is in his poignant telling of events and their effect on him, along with his fantasizing, that the reader is given real insight into the depth of his pain.

A book that will spark thought and engender real conversation, Call Me Yubbie is a must read for parents and educators as well as students between 9-14 years of age.

Deborah Halverson, Award-Winning Author of BIG MOUTH shares,

"An inspiring tale that moves you through tears to cheers….and then to action"

Radio Interview

Recently Joe Wojcik appeared on the Bax and O'Brien Show, WAQY Springfield, MA. Listen to the interview.

The Yubbie Foundation continues its effort to be an activist on anti-violence and anti-bullying topics. To view prior and future interviews check out our In The News section of the web site.

The Yubbie Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization that is supported by the generous contributions made by private, and corporate, donations and grants that support the mission of the Foundation. Proceeds are allocated by donor request.

How you nurture your children - defines their adult lives

The Say No To Bullying Today programs educates parents on helping their children avoid the insidious poison of bullying through programs and education.

Here is another excerpt for our monthly newsletter "Cup of Joe"

The nurturing you give your child during their early years plays a pivotal role in their emotional development and improves their ability to handle advances by bullies. Matter of fact their emotional reactions to situations in their childhood will later define them as adults. They are like pieces of clay waiting to be molded into individuals, absorbing everything around them like sponges and making decisions on how to react to their emotions. You can play a critical role in helping them react to an emotion in a positive healthy manner. How a child handles fear, anger, sadness, enjoyment, love, surprise, disgust and shame in their early years will determines their reactions as an adult.

Nature gives us an area in our brains that stores our emotional responses to circumstances that occur in our lives. This repository is called the amygdalae which means "almond" in Greek giving a description of their size in the limbic area of the brain.

We need this "data" to survive in our envirnoment. Once an established reaction is recorded there is no need to think about how to react the next time because the amygdalae feeds back the reaction in a flash.

The amygdalae send impulses that activate our central nervous system, our facial nerves, increasing our reflexes and getting ready for action. It also sends signals to release hormones that can either excite us or relax us. The amygdalae is also responsible for activitating the production of tears.

Why is this so important to know?

Long ago when one of our ancestors was confronted by a hungry tiger for the first time - he experienced the emotion of fear. He had to think of what to do. The brain had to tell the body to activate the central nervous system, increase heart rate and supply blood to the legs so he could start running to get away or climb a tree. That took time. So the brain recorded the physical response to the related emotion in the amygdalae for future reference. The next time it happened the amygdalae, sensing a need to react, looked back into its computer – fear registered – instantaneously the brain sent blood to large skeletal muscles (legs) giving him the energy needed to escape the ravenous tiger. It also kicked in each time he saw something like a lion or python.

The amygdalae reacts at an amazing speed of twelve thousands of a second - over twice the speed of processing a thought in the neocortex – the thinking part of the brain located in the frontal lobe.

Another example is when someone gets you angry. The thalamus sends the signal to the amygdalae that something is upsetting you. You feel angered, the amygdalae activates the central nervous system, heart rate increases and it immediately sends blood to your hands so you can pick up an implement and battle your foe or punch someone in the nose.

It’s the warehouse of emotional responses designed to help us.

There is a strong chance that you experienced every possible emotion in your first five years of life. You probably experienced anger, sadness, fear, enjoyment, love, surprise, disgust and shame. If we don’t do something to change them, those reactions are recorded and stay with us forever.

When we become adults these childhood emotional experiences serve as the basis of our reactions, and sometimes the amygdalae can hijack our thinking brain. When a situation occurs minutely similar to a situation you experienced as a child, especially a high-stress situation, the alarm goes off, bypassing the thinking brain. That is why when some people lose their temper they immediately strike out of anger.

At the same time, however, we need the survival reaction of the amygdalae. For example, when we are faced with a potential auto collision – sensing panic your heart rate increases, blood is rushed to the legs and you slam on your breaks out of fear of hitting another person or car – that’s the amygdalae kicking in. The amygdalae is fast.

What does all of this have to do with parenting?

The amygdalae can save our lives. But when conditioned for inappropriate responses – extreme anger, frustration, sorrow, even rage – the amygdalae can also destroy our lives.

As parents, we are responsible for the situations in which our children are placed – especially during those all-important formative years. The better we equip our children to deal with problems, the better we direct their responses, the better their amygdalae will be programmed to help them in later life and the healthier their reaction to emotions they experience in life.


Part II of this article will appear in the July issue of Cup of Joe. Make sure you catch the end. It will help you become a better parent and answer many questions that you might have on emotional reactions to events in our lives.


The Yubbie Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization that is supported by the generous contributions made by private, and corporate, donations and grants that support the mission of the Foundation. Proceeds are allocated by donor request.

Stop bullying during the summer months

Consistent with the Yubbie Foundation's objective of keeping you informed. We believe now that school is out it is time to say vigilant and Say No To Bullying Today.

Remember when we were kids and summer meant running out the front door in the morning, grabbing your bike, meeting up with your friends, and having an adventure each day. Or going to the community pool, the local Y, your favorite swimming hole, a secret fishing spot, or some other gathering place. There was tremendous freedom to that, and we look back at it nostalgically – often forgetting the incidences of bullying to which we were subjected or which we might have witnessed.

Summer is around the corner once again, and it is important to stay vigilant protecting your children. Kids are out and about during their vacation and one of the dangers they can fall prey to is bullying outside the school atmosphere. Here are a couple of signs that can alert you that your child is being targeted.

• Your child comes home with torn, dirty, or wet clothes, or loses things without being able to give a proper explanation of what has happened. It is understandable that during summer kids play ball, run around and are more involved in physical activities. There is a greater chance their clothing could show signs of damage and wear. What is important is your conversation and follow up. Accepting it once may be justifiable but repeat incidents should be a flag. Don’t just brush off their explanation. Pursue a dialogue in a loving manner and keep probing until you are satisfied.


• Your child has bruises, injuries, cuts, and scratches and cannot give a credible explanation for what caused them. Kids can get hurt playing. It is not unusual. Any injuries to the face or areas that might not be consistent with falling, sport injuries or activities that your child is involved with should be questioned and inquires should be made. If you feel at all uneasy with their explanation, create a further dialog. It’s about keeping the channels of communications open with your children that produces results. And it has to be done in a manner where probing does not shut the child down but encourages a positive verbal exchange.


• Your child becomes increasingly isolated, does not bring friends home, and rarely discusses or spends time with friends during the summer months. This should be a strong sign that something is happening in your child’s life. It is important to give them some freedom to chose what and how they spend their time, but isolation is a strong sign something is askew. Always remember to be gentle and persistent. Justify your reasons for probing - let them know that you are genuinely concerned and most importantly, that you are doing so out of love for them. Their safety is paramount and to ensure it, you have to promote a healthy atmosphere of discussion.


• Your child seems unhappy, downhearted, depressed, or has mood swings with sudden outbursts of irritation or anger.


• Your child often has little appetite, headaches, or stomach aches.


• Your child sleeps restlessly, with nightmares, and possibly cries in his/her sleep.


• Your child steals or asks for extra money from members of the family (to soften up bullies)
  
  Be aware, be active and be persistent. Those are the attributes of a responsible parent. You create the atmosphere for communication by daily inquiries into your child’s activities, feelings, perceptions and opinions – and by really listening to their responses. To accomplish this you have to spend time together. This builds a two-way channel of communication. This gives you the ability to sense that something is not right in their behavior. This gives you the ability to become aware of subtle deviations in normal attitudes. Spending time together in activities, eating super together every night, and sitting down as a group to play a game – all these give you the ability to observe. Your observations will enlighten your understanding of your child’s world.
  
  In the summer months and even during the school year verify your child’s activities. Make a call confirming that they are where they say they are supposed to be at any time. Children often react negatively to this approach, but it is essential to make them understand that it builds trust and satisfies your need to know they are safe because they are loved. Never apologize for being a good parent. Kids need to have structure and rules. They need to know that parents care enough to take the time to validate their activities.

Welcome to the Yubbie Foundation Blog, an Anti-Bullying & Anti-Violence blog

History:
Labeled “Yubbie” because he was different, as a kid Joe Wojcik was overweight. The name-calling was just a part of the bullying, and the pain he experienced had a very big impact on him throughout his youth, teens and into early adulthood.

Eventually Joe grew past his early experiences and founded The Yubbie Foundation to develop and present educational programs, seminars and presentations on preventing bullying and social violence and promoting wellness so individuals can lead productive and fulfilling lives. The Yubbie Foundation focuses on putting a stop to bullying in our schools and communities. In addition, The Yubbie Foundation creates educational literature to be distributed and promoted through various media and other venues.

Our Mission:
To stop violence in our schools and communities by engendering respect for all. We do this by:

• Providing young individuals with tools and resources to manage bullying in their lives.
• Delivering educational materials that develop self-confidence.
• Helping people realize their potential by educating them on how to live a healthier, more productive and balanced life.

The Yubbie Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization that is supported by the generous contributions made by private, and corporate, donations and grants that support the mission of the Foundation. Proceeds are allocated by donor request.