The Anxiety of Going Back To School

THE ANXIETY OF GOING BACK TO SCHOOL

The anticipation of going back to school can often times escalate into an emotional experience for a child. Parents that have developed a healthy channel of communication with their children can see the changes in the attitudes as the new school year starts. Here are some tips for parents to help their children deal with the going-back-to-school-blues:

• Take the time to discuss any changes in their behavior. A couple of weeks before the new year begins, a parent may be able to detect signs of withdrawal or anxiety. Use this as an opportunity to have a discussion with your child. It is imperative that parents nurture their children through these emotions and help them come to grips with the upcoming events in a positive manner.
  
• Get the feelings out in the open. Do not let a child ponder on negative reactions to the upcoming changes in their lives. Have empathy, and encouraging an open discussion of those feelings will help a child cope with their emotions. It can transform a situation into a positive reaction.
  
• Children mimic their parents. Parents also have to be aware of their emotions. Be careful not to communicate a sense of loss or too much happiness that your children are returning back to school. Your reactions may have an impact of your child's attitude toward school.
  
• Be a proactive parent. Put a positive spin on education and the benefits of returning back to school. Encourage the desire to achieve a good education, expand their interests and the social aspect of meeting new kids. Children are like clay and parents are the sculpturing artists. It is important to instill the advantages of obtaining an education that will allow a child to achieve their dreams.
  
• Have a specific homework time each day at home. Children need structure. Creating a time with no distractions in the house helps a child develop discipline. Parents can serve as an example by participating in the homework period by sitting down and reading a magazine or book while the children study. Kids want to be like their parents, so walk-the-talk. Show them that learning to read is important.
  

 

One way to motivate your child and help nurture them through the academic year is letting them know you care and put education as a priority in life. We had a rule in my house that was very effective in fostering over a hundred children and getting them excited about education. Rule #1: – There is a specific time everyday for one hour of homework in a common area, mainly the kitchen. The rule was until you do your homework, there's no Nintendo (back in those days), no radio, or TV. Clear and simple. My house, my rules. During that study period, they were not allowed radios or TV.

 

Of course we had those slick little characters that would come home and try to convince us that their teachers did not give out homework or they did it at school. Thinking they just escaped homework period, they would be ready to take off and play. Rule #2: If you don't have any homework, sit and read a book or magazine of your choice. That usually took them by surprise. We believed that education was paramount in getting good employment and providing for a family. One of us would sit with them during that period and read a book or magazine, leading by example. We also were available to tutor if necessary.

 

If they didn't have homework for a couple of days, I would place a call to the assistant principal who was more than happy to check with their teachers. Wow! You cannot believe how many kids were shocked when we reported on our conversation with the AP. Those who tried to be slick were the ones who were not actually handing in any homework. Back to rule #1.

 

We also felt very strongly about grades and sports. A parent should place the focus on education that gives a child a chance for a productive future. We pushed to have C+ to Bs to be eligible for sports. It is amazing what a child will do when they are motivated. If they wanted to tackle down their opponent on the field they first had to learn how to tackle discipline and work their education into the formula.

 

The results were sometimes amazing. One child, Gio, who at thirteen had never gotten higher than a D and failed most of his schooling, impressed all of us. With the right nurturing daily he was able to achieve high honors three semesters and honors on the fourth. No joke! The right structure coupled with positive reinforcement around education laid down the framework to encourage him to succeed. With continued support and motivation he realized he could achieve and was enthusiastic about his studies. Years later he came back for a visit to tell us that before us, everyone considered him stupid and that is what he thought he was – stupid. The right nurturing helped him do a 180, boosted his self-confidence and convinced him he could achieve anything he wanted. Remember your children are always watching, listening and absorbing your behavior. Emulate what you want them to be and help guide them through their school anxieties.